Beginning

What follows has already happened!
I am publishing retrospectively as it seemed really important to focus on what was happening at the time, and not be wondering about how I would blog it...of course there has been some editing (and there are some things that I'm never going to tell you about, because they're for only me and God to know!), but I hope as you read, you will have a sense of the challenges and surprises which this time has already presented to me.

After twelve years of ministry, and six years in this particularly large and busy parish (and fabulous church community), this is also much-needed time for revisiting the call which began it all and re-envisaging ministry here and into the future. In some ways, it has not come a moment too soon.

I've asked for the prayers of the church community -they sent me on my way on Easter Sunday with their blessing - and they are never far from my heart. But the freedom to say Morning Prayer in my pjs and not be racing to plan the next funeral brings a sense of liberation...

So I'm off to St Beuno's in North Wales to undertake the first part of the Ignatian exercises - a spirituality I know very little about. The silent nature of this retreat will, I think, offer some protected space - a lack of competitiveness about who is having the best (or worst) retreat, and having to share life stories over breakfast! After the busy-ness of Holy Week and Easter and of trying to make sure all the bases are covered here, it seems like distant water to refresh my soul.

This is a sixteen day retreat. I've never visited St Beuno's before although it's not a million miles from Manchester Diocese where I previously ministered. I used to opt instead for St Deiniol's, home of Gladstone's library, squashy sofas and tranquil grounds.

Since moving to Kent, St. Mary's Abbey in West Malling has been a constant place of peace and prayer when I have needed space (often in Advent or Lent) as has the lovely Penhurst Retreat Centre in Sussex.

But I've never been to a Catholic house, and ecumenical and inclusive as I like to think myself, this would be a first. St. Beuno's has a particular reputation for its Ignatian retreats, and was also the setting for a short TV series in 2010, 'The Big Silence.' It was a Jesuit training college in the 19th century and Gerard Manley Hopkins studied there. As his poems make my heart sing, the thought of that 'connectedness' is somehow inspiring.

Sixteen days... already it seems like a long time (especially to my partner!)